Excerpted from Central PA magazine,
JANUARY 2002

Desert-Island Phantom

Well, dear readers, the editors of this magazine once again have implored your Phantom to produce a special start-of-the-new-year offering, this time a sort of culinary "what if" that they – bless them – thought would be fun.

What if, the editors posed, The Phantom were marooned on a desert island (à la WITF-FM’s famous, classy and classic Desert Island Discs) and could take along only a select number of dishes and drinks to sustain him- or herself? What victuals and libations, pray tell, would be packed or preferred for the predicament?

This assignment, of course, pushes one to recall the best meals and single dishes ever enjoyed, which, for a person in my line of work, is a pleasure in and of itself. In fact, if lost at sea, sustenance would come for a while just from the recollection of past encounters with Long Island blue-point oysters on the half-shell served on a flat plate of shaved ice with a three-caviar garnish, followed by a brace of quail, at Café des Artistes in upper Manhattan; or the lobster with pumpkin sauce at Le Bernardin in midtown Manhattan; or Maryland soft-shell crab salad with grilled summer vegetables, a seasonal sensation, at Striped Bass in Philadelphia; or, Lord forgive me, the priced-as-if-gold boeuf à la molle au fleurie, a filet from heaven, sweet and tender as an angel’s cheek, at Le Bec-Fin in Philadelphia; or, without leaving the same Philadelphia center-city block, the duck-and-foie-gras dumplings at Susanna Foo.

But I digress.

My charge is to concentrate on Central PA restaurants. And so to my charge.

There are, as readers routinely discover, a great many good eateries in the region, and therefore too many memorable dishes to mention – one cannot possibly do justice to the variety, nor help but commit crimes of omission. Sorry, but so be it.

I would love to be marooned with a supply of the game pâté with toast points and organic sprouts from Politesse in downtown Harrisburg. It’s a yummy appetizer that perfectly complements an icy martini or a crisp white wine – a wonderful way to start a meal. Make it a light Pinot Grigio. And, oh, leave the bottle. And since I’m a castaway, make it a case. And since we’re talking cases, let’s add the following provisions: a case of 1990 California Merlot; a case of new Beaujolais; 1997 Italian Tuscany; and any 1985 French champagne.

Also, bring me another appetizer. I’m thinking of the ultra-soothing, silky-smooth lobster ravioli at The Restaurant at Doneckers in Ephrata. It’s rich and flavorful. It melts in your mouth. It’s so good I’d go to an island just to get it.

Then, I’d crave an artichoke-hearts salad with apples and blue cheese from the Accomac Inn in Wrightsville, or the Caesar for two made table-side at Alfred’s Victorian in Middletown. Or maybe, if the island winds were blowing, some hot snapper soup from the Commonwealth Room at the Yorktowne Hotel with, of course, its accompanying full cruet of sherry.

For the main fare, I’d choose basic comfort food. Fancy just doesn’t seem right for a campfire meal on the beach. Let’s have the large-size homemade ravioli from Loreto’s in Columbia (it’s the perfect food, OK?). Or a big bowl of black-bean pasta with broccoli, scallions and chicken – a dish made famous at Harrisburg’s Zephyr Express and now a staple at its offspring, Fisaga. Or maybe, just to keep up my strength, the huge chargrilled lamb chops from Tavern on the Hill in Enola. Who cares if they’re $30 for the pair! Hey, I’m lost here!

And speaking of lost, and since these islands sometimes get hot, I’d want insurance against dehydration or possible parching. Put in an order at Market Cross Pub in Carlisle to ship along a few kegs of Newcastle English Brown Ale, Dock Street Amber and, in the event of storms, Dinkelacker Dark.

Now that I think about it, I might be so depressed, what with being lost, hot and facing storms, I’d want an elegant meal once in a while. For that, air-drop me two dishes from the Hummingbird Room near State College, a marvel in the woods I once dubbed "Le Bec-Fin North." Send me Napoléon de saumon fumé – applewood-smoked salmon, layered with corn galette, garnished with crème fraîche and Russian ossetra caviar. Then lotte aux langoustines – seared monkfish with crayfish and homemade fettuccine in a champagne sauce. They taste like you cannot believe.

For desert-isle dessert, I’d want two of my all-time favorites: malted-milkball gelati from Trattoria Fratelli in Lebanon, and homemade banana ice cream with dark caramel wafers from Brian Kent’s in Hershey.

These are truly dessert dishes to die for – fitting finales for equally delectable entrees and appetizers. And should your Phantom perish on this long-lost island, what, dear readers, a way to go.

Respond to The Phantom Diner by e-mailing phantom@centralpa.org








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